About Living Your Dream
The original title for this blog was “Fifty-Something Sunsets” and its purpose was to share my journey of leaving my old life to start a new one. I had told those closest to me about the idea, and lied that the title meant I was committing to giving this new life a fighting chance for at least 50 days. In actuality, “Fifty-Something Sunsets” reflected that I didn’t think I would last more than that.
Today marks two years.
I’m proud of myself for making it this far - for allowing so many more sunsets into my new life.
And now I sit here, watching my seven-hundred-and-thirtieth one, reflecting on everything these last two years have taught me.
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Moving back home to Costa Rica was a dream I'd carried for more than twenty years. Over time, it grew from a dream into a yearning, then into a primal call I could no longer ignore. It was a decision that meant giving up everything I had known and built: my loving relationship, my successful career, my current version of myself, in search of everything I had grown distant from or had lost: my family, my cultural identity, my truest self.
I remember the warnings:
“It’s too risky.”
“It’s career suicide.”
“It’s lonelier than you think.”
I also remember the words of encouragement:
“The universe rewards risk takers.”
“You will bloom wherever you are planted.”
“You are stronger than you think.”
So I braced myself and I made a plan. One that looked something like this:
Step 1: Make the hard decision.
Step 2: Suffer the aftermath.
Step 3: Heal.
Step 4: Reap the rewards.
One step at a time, right?
But these last two years have taught me that healing is not an action list, there is no timeline, and that those who warned me and those encouraged me were both right.
Celebration and suffering co-exist.
Joy and loneliness can visit on the same day.
Bravery and fear are forever bound.
And the hardest lesson I’ve learned is: You can accomplish your biggest dream, and still grieve your old life.
I am eternally grateful.
I am deeply grieving.
But I choose to be gentle with myself for feeling both.
I share this here to help me (and maybe you) remember that healing is not simply good or bad, light or dark…
Even sunsets fade to black and back again.
